Pet Humor! by Oliver Gaspirtz

Author:Oliver Gaspirtz [Gaspirtz, Oliver]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: humor, jokes, short stories, true stories, dogs, cats, animals
Publisher: Westhoff Publishing
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

One Sunday morning, John stepped out onto the porch in his bathrobe to pick up his newspaper. He noticed a snail on the paper, so he picked it up and flung it across the front lawn onto the sidewalk.

On another Sunday morning, about two years later, John was out on the porch again to pick up his paper, when he noticed a snail on the paper. It was the same snail.

Bill looked at the snail. The snail looked at Bill.

Then the snail said: "Now, was that REALLY necessary?!"

After a long day at the office, Chris came home one day to find his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth.

The rabbit was obviously dead. Chris panicked!

"If my neighbors find out my dog killed their bunny, they'll hate me forever," he thought.

So he took the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house, gave it a bath and blow-dried its fur.

Chris knew his neighbors kept their backdoor open during the summer, so he snuck inside and put the bunny back into the cage, hoping his neighbors would think it died of natural causes.

A couple of days later Chris and his neighbor saw each other outside.

"Did you hear that Fluffy died?" the neighbor asked.

"Oh. Uhmm... Sorry to hear that. What happened?" Chris mumbled.

The neighbor replied: "We just found him dead in his cage one day. But the strange thing is that the day after we buried him, we went out to dinner and someone must have dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There are some really sick people out there!"

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